In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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