why didn't you poke me back
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
