In the future we'll all be gay
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
