You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
