i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
