Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
