Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
