And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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