News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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