i need an iv and a liver transplant
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
