my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
