I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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