i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
