she was so not down for the gang bang
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
