On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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