Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
They have beer where we have blood.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
