Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
