i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
