Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
