i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
