I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
that is very illegal...i love you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
