i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
How's work?
Spinning.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
