i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
