her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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