at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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