i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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