I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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