On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
