dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
