i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
