U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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