I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize