Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
