I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
