I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
