You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
