Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just found puke in my bra..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
