I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
