I puked a lego.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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