I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
