they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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