3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
