So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she told me i tasted like america
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
