so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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