Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
