I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize