this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
