batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
