Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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