did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
