Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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