I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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