whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize