omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
