I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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