Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
