ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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