he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
