i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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