apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
