yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize