i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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