never play flip cup with pint glasses
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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