anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
