ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize