I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
