Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
