3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
