I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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