A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
