Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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