its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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