you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
